How To Make A Narcissist Want You? 12 Strategies

Understanding how to make a narcissist want you requires a nuanced grasp of their psychological landscape. Narcissists typically crave admiration and validation, seeing relationships primarily as avenues to reinforce their self-esteem. In navigating this complex terrain, it’s crucial to recognize the signs of narcissistic behavior, such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

To captivate a narcissist’s interest, one must subtly become a source of continuous admiration without appearing too easy or accessible. Crafting an aura of mystery and maintaining a sense of independence can provoke their curiosity and desire. It’s about striking a balance between being valuable and not entirely available, as this dynamic can make you seem more desirable in the eyes of a narcissist.

However, it’s important to proceed with caution and self-awareness, as trying to attract a narcissist can lead to a challenging and emotionally draining relationship. Understanding your own reasons for wanting to engage with someone who has narcissistic tendencies is crucial. While these strategies might make a narcissist want you, they don’t guarantee a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

How To Make A Narcissist Want You – 3 Subtle Approaches

Crafting a strategy on how to make a narcissist want you involves a delicate balance of engagement and detachment. Here are three subtle approaches that can draw their interest without compromising your own self-worth.

1. Mirror Their Behavior

Mirroring is a potent psychological strategy that involves mimicking the narcissist’s attitudes, speech patterns, and behaviors. This does not mean losing your sense of self, but rather reflecting aspects of their personality back to them. Narcissists are drawn to individuals who seem to share their values, interests, and behaviors, as it reinforces their self-importance. Start by observing their interests and opinions, then subtly incorporate elements of these into your conversations. This resemblance can make you more appealing and intriguing to a narcissist.

2. Showcase Your Unique Qualities

While it might seem counterintuitive, standing out is an effective approach in making a narcissist want you. Narcissists are attracted to people who enhance their status and satisfy their need for constant attention and admiration. By highlighting your accomplishments, talents, or unique traits, you provide them with something they crave: association with someone who appears exceptional. However, maintain a balance; ensure that your demonstrations of uniqueness are subtle and not directly competitive, as narcissists can feel threatened by others’ success.

3. Provide and Withdraw Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention and validation. Offering them compliments and acknowledgments can make you a valuable part of their social sphere. However, the key is to not be overly available or generous with your attention. Intermittently withdrawing your focus, while remaining polite and engaged, creates a sense of psychological tension and curiosity. This push-and-pull dynamic can make a narcissist more drawn to you, as they seek to regain the admiration and attention they initially received.

Implementing these subtle approaches requires a careful balance and self-awareness. While they can be effective in attracting a narcissist’s interest, it’s important to consider the emotional toll such relationships can impose. Ensure that your efforts to make a narcissist want you do not lead to self-compromise or loss of individuality.

3 Direct Strategies for Attracting a Narcissist’s Attention

Direct strategies can be impactful in attracting the attention of a narcissist. By employing these methods, you can make yourself more appealing and ensure that you remain memorable in their minds. Here’s how to make a narcissist want you through direct but considerate actions.

1. Assert Your Admirability

Narcissists are drawn to individuals who are admired by others. To attract their attention, position yourself as someone of high value in social settings. This could mean sharing stories of your successes, displaying your talents, or subtly showcasing the respect and admiration you receive from others. The key is to do this in a way that does not come off as bragging but instead appears as a natural part of the conversation. By doing so, you highlight your worth and desirability, making the narcissist more likely to seek your attention.

2. Initiate Intellectual Challenge

Narcissists enjoy the spotlight and being recognized as the best, including in areas of intelligence and wit. Engage them in conversations that stimulate their intellect and offer them a chance to demonstrate their knowledge. However, while you should initiate these intellectual challenges, it’s crucial to let them “win” or feel superior in these exchanges. This approach satisfies their ego while keeping you interesting and engaging. Remember, the goal is to attract their attention positively without sparking hostility or defensive behavior.

3. Be the Source of Novel Experiences

Narcissists crave excitement and newness. By becoming a source of novel experiences, you can capture and maintain their attention. Plan unique dates, introduce them to interesting people, or share new ideas and perspectives. Being associated with positive and unusual experiences will make you invaluable and irreplaceable in their eyes. However, ensure that these activities align with your interests and boundaries to avoid losing yourself in the process of trying to make the narcissist want you.

These direct strategies are designed to make you more attractive to a narcissist by catering to their personality traits and preferences. While they can be effective, it’s essential to approach this with a clear understanding of your own worth and the dynamics of narcissistic relationships. Attracting a narcissist’s attention should never come at the cost of your own mental and emotional well-being.

3 Psychological Techniques to Increase Your Appeal

Employing psychological techniques can significantly boost your appeal and teach you how to make a narcissist want you. These strategies leverage deep-seated human behaviors and needs, making them particularly effective when dealing with individuals who have narcissistic tendencies.

1. Utilize the Scarcity Principle

Scarcity increases value. By making yourself less available and more scarce, you naturally become more desirable. This doesn’t mean playing hard to get in an obvious or game-playing manner but rather genuinely filling your life with activities that are important to you, which in turn limits your availability. This technique makes the time the narcissist spends with you more valuable and sought after. It’s important, however, to balance this approach to avoid becoming entirely inaccessible, which may backfire.

2. Apply the Law of Reciprocity

The law of reciprocity is a social psychology principle that suggests people feel obliged to return favors or kindnesses. When dealing with a narcissist, small gestures of kindness or thoughtfulness can be particularly effective. However, the twist here is to remain balanced; give enough to make them feel indebted or eager to return the favor, but not so much that it becomes overwhelming or perceived as insincere. Subtle compliments, thoughtful gestures, or helpful advice can trigger this sense of reciprocity and increase your appeal.

3. Engage in ‘Positive Reinforcement’

Positive reinforcement involves rewarding the behavior you want to encourage. In the context of making a narcissist want you, this could mean praising or expressing admiration for the traits or actions that are genuinely aligned with your values and boundaries. This not only reinforces their self-esteem but also associates you with positive feelings and validation. However, it’s crucial to use this technique judiciously to avoid flattery that can come across as ingratiation or manipulation. Genuine, measured compliments are key.

By applying these psychological techniques thoughtfully, you can increase your appeal to a narcissist without compromising your own values or integrity. Remember, while these strategies can make you more attractive to a narcissist, maintaining a sense of self-respect and personal boundaries is paramount. Attracting someone’s attention should never come at the expense of your own mental and emotional health.

3 Practical Actions to Keep a Narcissist Interested

Maintaining the interest of a narcissist requires continuous effort and strategic thinking. If you’re looking into how to make a narcissist want you consistently, here are three practical actions that can keep their attention fixed on you while ensuring your own needs and boundaries remain respected.

1. Maintain Your Own Social Circle and Interests

A common mistake people make when trying to keep a narcissist interested is to make their lives all about the narcissist. Instead, continue to cultivate your own interests, hobbies, and social connections. This creates a sense of independence and self-sufficiency that can actually make you more attractive to a narcissist. It also ensures that you have a support system and personal fulfillment outside of your relationship with them. By maintaining your own life, you become less predictable and more intriguing, which can keep a narcissist engaged and curious about your world.

2. Offer Occasional Compliments and Admiration

Narcissists thrive on admiration and validation, so offering occasional compliments can be a strategic way to keep their interest. However, the key is to ensure these compliments are genuine and not excessive. Overdoing praise can come off as insincere or may lead to the narcissist taking your admiration for granted. Instead, focus on acknowledging genuine achievements or qualities you admire in them. This keeps the narcissist feeling validated while also ensuring that your compliments retain their value and impact.

3. Set and Enforce Personal Boundaries

While it may seem counterintuitive, setting and enforcing personal boundaries can actually help keep a narcissist interested. Narcissists are used to controlling or influencing others, so encountering someone who has clear boundaries and self-respect can be intriguing and attractive to them. By setting limits, you demonstrate self-worth and independence, qualities that can make you more appealing. However, it’s crucial to remain firm and consistent with your boundaries to avoid being manipulated or losing your sense of self in the relationship.

Incorporating these practical actions into your approach can help you maintain the interest of a narcissist without compromising your own well-being. Remember, while understanding how to make a narcissist want you can be beneficial in some situations, it’s essential to prioritize your own mental and emotional health above all else.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes a narcissist want you more?

A narcissist may want you more if you show them admiration, validation, and cater to their ego, as they thrive on being the center of attention and feeling superior.

How do you keep a narcissist interested in you?

To keep a narcissist interested, continuously provide them with admiration, praise, and validation, but keep some level of unpredictability to maintain their interest.

Do narcissists know they are hurting you?

Narcissists may not fully recognize or care that they are hurting others, as they often lack empathy and are primarily focused on their own needs and feelings.

How do you make a narcissist crave you?

You can make a narcissist crave you by providing them with admiration and validation while simultaneously presenting a challenge or something they can’t easily obtain.

How do you make a narcissist fall in love with you?

While a narcissist may not experience love in the conventional sense, they may become fixated or infatuated with someone who provides them with excessive admiration and feeds their ego.

How do you keep a narcissist hooked on you?

To keep a narcissist hooked, continue to offer them admiration and validation while maintaining your own boundaries to prevent complete control.

What makes a narcissist obsessed with you?

A narcissist might become obsessed with someone who initially provides them with high levels of admiration and praise but then becomes somewhat elusive, challenging their ego and triggering their need to conquer.

What makes a narcissist addicted to you?

A narcissist can become addicted to you if you master the balance between catering to their ego (with admiration and validation) and maintaining a level of unattainability or mystery.

What does a narcissist crave the most?

Narcissists crave admiration, attention, and validation above all, as these feed their ego and sense of superiority.

Wrapping Up Your Narcissistic Attraction Strategy

Implementing a strategy on how to make a narcissist want you requires understanding their psychological makeup and adapting your approach accordingly. Throughout this guide, we’ve explored subtle approaches, direct tactics, psychological methods, and practical actions to attract and maintain the interest of a narcissist.

It’s important to remember that while these strategies can be effective, they should be employed with caution and self-awareness. Engaging with a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining, so it’s crucial to maintain your sense of self and ensure your own emotional needs are being met.

The key to a successful narcissistic attraction strategy lies in balance and boundaries. By balancing admiration with independence, engagement with personal space, and validation with self-respect, you can create a dynamic that keeps a narcissist interested while preserving your own well-being.

However, remember that the ultimate goal should not be to change or “cure” the narcissist but rather to understand and navigate the relationship dynamics in a way that is healthy and respectful for both parties. Whether you’re seeking to improve an existing relationship or understanding how to navigate future interactions, it’s essential to prioritize communication, respect, and self-care.

In conclusion, learning how to make a narcissist want you is a nuanced journey that requires patience, understanding, and self-reflection. By applying the strategies outlined in this guide thoughtfully and ethically, you can navigate the complex waters of narcissistic relationships with confidence and clarity. Remember, the most important relationship you have is with yourself; ensure that this remains your priority as you apply these tactics in your interactions with others.

Recommended Authors For Further Reading

• Robert Greene – Greene is an author known for his books on strategy, power, and manipulation, providing deep insights into human behavior, which could be crucial in understanding the mindset of a narcissist.
• Karyl McBride – McBride is a licensed Ph.D. therapist and author who specializes in treating clients with narcissistic parents or partners, offering insights into narcissistic behavior and how to deal with it.
• Debbie Mirza – Mirza is an author and coach who focuses on self-healing from relationships with covert narcissists, providing strategies that could be inverted to understand what attracts a narcissist.
• Ramani Durvasula – Dr. Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and professor who has extensively studied and written about narcissism, providing valuable insights into the psyche of a narcissist.
• Jean Twenge – Twenge is a psychologist and author who has researched narcissism extensively, offering insights into its rise in modern society and behaviors associated with narcissistic individuals.