How To Make A Narcissist Come Crawling Back – 21 Strategoes

Understanding how to make a narcissist come crawling back can be a powerful tool in regaining control and finding balance in a relationship. Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, often leaving their partners feeling powerless and undervalued. However, by employing specific strategies, you can turn the tables and influence their behavior in your favor. This guide will provide you with practical and effective techniques to subtly and strategically draw a narcissist back to you. From psychological tactics and conversational strategies to behavioral changes and boundary setting, you will learn how to make yourself irresistible and regain the upper hand in your relationship.

How To Make A Narcissist Come Crawling Back – 3 Subtle Tactics That Work Wonders

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, but with the right approach, you can regain control and make them come crawling back. Here are three subtle tactics that work wonders:

1. Play on Their Ego

Narcissists thrive on admiration and validation. To make a narcissist come crawling back, you need to play on their ego subtly. Compliment them on something specific that they take pride in, whether it’s their appearance, intelligence, or achievements. This technique taps into their need for constant validation without being overly obvious. By doing so, you can make them crave your approval and attention.

For example, if your narcissistic partner prides themselves on their professional success, mention how impressed you are with their latest achievement or how their skills in a particular area are unparalleled. These well-placed compliments can make them seek out more of your admiration, drawing them back to you.

2. Maintain an Air of Mystery

Narcissists are naturally curious and are often attracted to people who present a challenge. One effective tactic is to maintain an air of mystery. Don’t reveal everything about yourself or your plans. Be vague about certain aspects of your life, leaving them intrigued and wanting to know more.

For instance, instead of detailing every aspect of your day or your plans, give brief, intriguing hints. If they ask about your weekend plans, you might say, “I’m meeting with some interesting people” without providing specifics. This creates an aura of mystery that can pique their curiosity and make them want to invest more time in figuring you out.

3. Show Independence and Self-Sufficiency

Narcissists often expect their partners to be dependent on them for validation and emotional support. By demonstrating your independence and self-sufficiency, you can subvert this expectation and make yourself more attractive. Show that you have a fulfilling life outside of the relationship and that you are capable of thriving on your own.

Engage in activities that you enjoy, pursue your hobbies, and spend time with friends and family. When a narcissist sees that you are content and successful without their constant presence, they may feel compelled to reassert their influence over you. This tactic can make them come crawling back, eager to regain their position in your life.

By employing these three subtle tactics, you can effectively learn how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Playing on their ego, maintaining an air of mystery, and showing independence are powerful strategies that can shift the dynamic in your favor. While dealing with a narcissist is never easy, understanding their psychology and leveraging it to your advantage can help you regain control and achieve the outcome you desire.

3 Psychological Techniques to Use

Understanding the psychology of a narcissist is key to influencing their behavior and making them come crawling back. Here are three powerful psychological techniques you can use to achieve this:

1. Mirror Their Behavior

Mirroring is a psychological technique where you subtly imitate the behaviors, attitudes, or expressions of the person you are interacting with. Narcissists, who are highly self-focused, often respond positively to this form of subtle flattery. By mirroring their actions, you create a sense of rapport and validation, making them feel understood and appreciated.

For example, if they are speaking about their achievements, show genuine interest and reflect their enthusiasm. If they use certain phrases or body language, incorporate similar elements into your responses. This technique can make them feel more connected to you, increasing their desire to engage with you more frequently.

2. Utilize Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement involves rewarding behaviors you want to encourage. In the context of dealing with a narcissist, this means providing praise and affirmation when they act in ways that are beneficial to the relationship. This technique leverages their need for validation and can shape their behavior over time.

For instance, if the narcissist shows genuine interest in your feelings or makes an effort to spend quality time with you, acknowledge these actions with positive feedback. You might say, “I really appreciate how you listened to me today” or “It means a lot to me when you make time for us.” These affirmations can encourage them to repeat these positive behaviors, fostering a healthier dynamic between you.

3. Establish and Maintain Boundaries

While narcissists often push boundaries to assert control, establishing and maintaining clear boundaries is crucial for making them come crawling back. This technique involves communicating your limits firmly and consistently, which can actually increase their respect for you and their desire to seek your approval.

For example, if the narcissist frequently interrupts you or disregards your needs, calmly but assertively address this behavior. You might say, “I need you to let me finish speaking” or “It’s important to me that my feelings are considered too.” By standing your ground and not allowing them to overstep, you demonstrate self-respect and confidence—qualities that narcissists find intriguing and compelling.

Incorporating these psychological techniques into your interactions can be a game-changer in how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Mirroring their behavior creates a sense of connection, positive reinforcement encourages desirable actions, and establishing boundaries commands respect. These strategies, grounded in psychological principles, can help you regain influence and control in the relationship, making the narcissist more inclined to seek your approval and attention.

3 Conversational Strategies That Invoke Curiosity

Creating curiosity in conversations is a powerful way to engage a narcissist and make them come crawling back. By leveraging their natural inquisitiveness and desire for control, you can draw them closer and make them eager to invest more in your relationship. Here are three conversational strategies to invoke curiosity effectively:

1. Use Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions encourage deeper conversations and allow the narcissist to express themselves more fully. This not only satisfies their need for attention but also piques their interest as they become more involved in the dialogue. Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” frame your questions in a way that requires elaboration.

For instance, instead of asking, “Did you have a good day?”, try asking, “What was the most interesting part of your day?” This approach invites them to share more about their experiences and thoughts, keeping the conversation engaging and dynamic. Over time, they will associate these stimulating discussions with your presence, drawing them back to you.

2. Share Intriguing Stories and Experiences

Sharing fascinating stories or unique experiences can captivate a narcissist’s attention and make them curious about your life. By revealing aspects of your life that are unusual or particularly interesting, you can create a sense of mystery and allure that keeps them wanting to learn more about you.

For example, talk about an exciting project you’re working on, a recent adventure, or a thought-provoking idea you’ve been exploring. Phrases like, “You won’t believe what happened to me last weekend,” or “I’ve been thinking about this fascinating concept,” can serve as great conversation starters. This strategy not only entertains but also leaves them curious about what you might share next.

3. Drop Hints About Future Plans

Narcissists often feel compelled to be in control and knowing everything about their partner. By dropping subtle hints about your future plans without revealing too much detail, you can create an air of mystery that intrigues them. This tactic keeps them guessing and makes them more eager to stay involved in your life.

For instance, you might say, “I have something exciting planned for next weekend,” or “I’m working on a new project that I think you’d find really interesting.” By not providing full details, you encourage them to ask more questions and stay engaged, feeding their curiosity and making them more likely to seek your company.

Incorporating these conversational strategies can significantly impact how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Using open-ended questions, sharing intriguing stories, and dropping hints about future plans can captivate their attention and foster a deeper connection. These techniques leverage the narcissist’s natural curiosity and need for control, drawing them closer to you and making them more invested in the relationship. Through thoughtful and engaging conversations, you can create a compelling dynamic that keeps a narcissist intrigued and coming back for more.

3 Behavioral Changes That Attract Attention

Attracting the attention of a narcissist requires strategic changes in behavior that make you more intriguing and desirable. By understanding what captures their interest, you can implement these changes effectively. Here are three behavioral changes that can make a narcissist come crawling back:

1. Display Confidence and Self-Assuredness

Narcissists are often drawn to confident and self-assured individuals. Demonstrating a strong sense of self-worth and confidence can make you more attractive in their eyes. This doesn’t mean being arrogant, but rather showcasing your self-assurance through your actions and demeanor.

Start by setting clear personal boundaries and sticking to them. When you communicate, do so with conviction and clarity. Engage in activities that boost your confidence, whether it’s pursuing a hobby, advancing in your career, or taking care of your physical health. This change in behavior shows the narcissist that you are secure and independent, which can pique their interest and draw them back to you.

2. Cultivate a Dynamic Social Life

Narcissists are often attracted to individuals who are socially active and well-regarded by others. By cultivating a dynamic social life, you not only enhance your own well-being but also create an aura of desirability. Engage in social activities, make new friends, and maintain a vibrant social presence both online and offline.

Share your social experiences subtly in conversations. Mention attending exciting events, spending time with interesting people, or participating in group activities. This not only makes you seem more attractive but also invokes a sense of curiosity and jealousy, making the narcissist want to be a part of your exciting life.

3. Show Selective Availability

Being selectively available can make a narcissist more eager to seek your attention. Instead of always being at their beck and call, show that you have a busy and fulfilling life. This creates a sense of scarcity and value around your time and attention.

When they reach out, don’t always respond immediately. Occasionally, let them know that you’re busy with other commitments. This behavior subtly communicates that you have other priorities and that they need to compete for your time. It can make them more determined to win your attention and favor, thereby making them come crawling back.

Implementing these behavioral changes can be highly effective in how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Displaying confidence and self-assuredness, cultivating a dynamic social life, and showing selective availability are powerful strategies that leverage a narcissist’s desire for admiration and control. By making these changes, you not only enhance your own attractiveness but also create a compelling dynamic that draws the narcissist closer to you.

3 Ways to Use Jealousy to Your Advantage

Jealousy can be a powerful tool when dealing with a narcissist. When used wisely, it can make them realize your value and drive them to seek your attention more fervently. Here are three ways to use jealousy to your advantage and understand how to make a narcissist come crawling back:

1. Highlight Your Social Interactions

Narcissists crave being the center of attention and can become jealous when they see you thriving socially without them. By showcasing your social interactions, you can make them realize that others value and enjoy your company, which can ignite their competitive nature.

Engage in social activities and subtly share these experiences. Mentioning that you attended a fantastic party or had a great time with friends can spark their curiosity and jealousy. For example, saying, “I had the best time at the event last night, met some really interesting people,” can make them want to be part of your exciting social circle.

2. Display Your Independence

Showing that you are self-sufficient and thriving independently can make a narcissist jealous of your autonomy. When they see you excelling and enjoying life without their constant involvement, it can trigger their fear of losing control over you and make them want to reclaim your attention.

Pursue your interests, achieve personal goals, and take care of yourself. Share your successes and milestones in a humble manner. For instance, you might say, “I just completed a challenging project at work, and it feels great to have done it on my own.” This not only highlights your independence but also makes them see you as a more desirable and accomplished individual.

3. Be Mysterious About Your Plans

Keeping some aspects of your life private can make a narcissist curious and jealous. When they don’t have complete access to your schedule or know every detail of your life, it can drive them to seek more information and pay closer attention to you.

Mention that you have exciting plans without divulging all the details. For example, you could say, “I have an interesting weekend planned,” and leave it at that. This approach creates an air of mystery and can make them wonder who you are spending time with and what you are doing, increasing their desire to be involved in your life.

Using these strategies can effectively show you how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Highlighting your social interactions, displaying your independence, and being mysterious about your plans are practical ways to invoke jealousy and reignite their interest in you. By leveraging their natural tendencies and insecurities, you can draw them back into your orbit, making them more attentive and eager to win your favor.

3 Tips on Setting Boundaries That Draw Them In

Setting boundaries with a narcissist can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining your self-respect and ultimately making them come crawling back. When done correctly, boundaries can make you appear more self-assured and independent, traits that narcissists often find intriguing. Here are three tips on setting boundaries that can draw a narcissist in:

1. Be Clear and Consistent

One of the most effective ways to set boundaries is to be clear and consistent about your limits. Narcissists often test boundaries to see how far they can push, so it’s crucial to communicate your limits firmly and stand by them.

For instance, if the narcissist frequently interrupts or dismisses your feelings, calmly but assertively let them know that this behavior is unacceptable. You might say, “I need you to let me finish speaking before you respond.” Consistency is key; if you set a boundary, make sure to enforce it every time. This not only demonstrates your self-respect but also makes them see you as someone who cannot be easily manipulated.

2. Prioritize Your Own Needs

Narcissists are used to being the center of attention, often at the expense of their partner’s needs. By prioritizing your own needs and well-being, you signal that you value yourself and expect to be treated with respect.

Make time for activities that fulfill you and contribute to your happiness, whether it’s spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or advancing your career. When a narcissist sees that you are taking care of yourself and thriving independently, it can create a sense of intrigue and respect. For example, saying, “I’m unavailable this weekend because I’ve made plans to focus on my projects,” shows that you have a life outside of the relationship and are not entirely dependent on them.

3. Use Positive Reinforcement

While setting boundaries, it’s helpful to use positive reinforcement to encourage respectful behavior from the narcissist. Acknowledge and appreciate moments when they respect your boundaries, which can motivate them to continue this behavior.

For instance, if they allow you to express your thoughts without interrupting, you might say, “I appreciate that you listened to me without cutting in.” This positive feedback not only reinforces the behavior you want but also makes the narcissist feel recognized and valued, which can draw them closer to you. By framing boundaries in a positive light, you can create a dynamic where they feel rewarded for respecting your limits.

Implementing these tips on how to make a narcissist come crawling back through boundary-setting can transform your relationship dynamics. Being clear and consistent, prioritizing your own needs, and using positive reinforcement are practical strategies that not only protect your well-being but also make you more attractive and respected in the eyes of a narcissist. By standing firm in your boundaries, you assert your value and create an environment where the narcissist is more likely to seek your approval and attention.

3 Lifestyle Adjustments That Make You Irresistible

Making a narcissist come crawling back often involves making yourself irresistibly attractive. By making specific lifestyle adjustments, you can enhance your allure and regain their attention. Here are three effective lifestyle adjustments that can make you irresistible:

1. Enhance Your Physical Health and Appearance

Narcissists are often drawn to physical attractiveness and those who take pride in their appearance. By focusing on your physical health and appearance, you can boost your confidence and become more appealing.

Start by adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep. Not only will this improve your physical health, but it will also enhance your overall well-being and energy levels. Additionally, take time to groom yourself and dress in a way that makes you feel confident and attractive. This doesn’t mean changing who you are but rather highlighting your best features and feeling good about how you present yourself.

For example, investing time in a fitness routine or trying out a new style can make you feel more confident and draw positive attention. When a narcissist sees you looking your best and radiating confidence, it can reignite their interest and admiration.

2. Pursue Personal Growth and Development

Demonstrating a commitment to personal growth and development can make you more intriguing and desirable. Narcissists respect individuals who are ambitious and continuously striving to improve themselves.

Take up new hobbies, learn new skills, or pursue further education to broaden your horizons. Whether it’s learning a new language, taking up a musical instrument, or advancing your career, these pursuits show that you are proactive and self-motivated. Sharing your achievements and new interests subtly in conversations can make the narcissist curious and impressed.

For instance, mentioning that you’re taking a course to develop a new skill can highlight your dedication to self-improvement. This behavior not only makes you more interesting but also demonstrates that you have a fulfilling life outside the relationship, making you more attractive.

3. Cultivate Emotional Independence

Narcissists often seek control over their partners’ emotions. By cultivating emotional independence, you show that you are self-sufficient and not reliant on them for your happiness. This can create a sense of challenge and intrigue for the narcissist.

Focus on building a strong emotional foundation by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to maintain emotional balance and clarity. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and encourage you.

For example, if you feel upset or stressed, find ways to manage these emotions independently rather than seeking validation from the narcissist. This demonstrates that you can thrive emotionally without their constant input, making you appear strong and resilient. Narcissists often find this trait attractive as it challenges their need for control and makes them more likely to seek your company and approval.

Implementing these lifestyle adjustments can significantly impact how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Enhancing your physical health and appearance, pursuing personal growth, and cultivating emotional independence are powerful strategies that can make you more irresistible. By focusing on these aspects, you not only improve your own well-being but also create an allure that draws the narcissist back to you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do narcissists miss their exes?

Narcissists typically miss the attention and validation they received from their exes rather than the person themselves.

What triggers a narcissist to come back?

Narcissists may come back when they feel a need for validation, attention, or when they want to reassert control over their ex.

How to make a narcissist want you back?

To make a narcissist want you back, you might need to appeal to their ego and make them feel like they are missing out on admiration and attention.

How to make a narcissist obsessed with you?

Making a narcissist obsessed with you often involves continuously boosting their ego, providing constant admiration, and making them feel superior.

Will a narcissist eventually miss you?

A narcissist may eventually miss the validation and attention you provided, but not necessarily you as a person.

How do you make a narcissist miss you and want you back?

To make a narcissist miss you and want you back, you can try to create a sense of scarcity by limiting contact and showing that you have moved on.

How to get a narcissist to do what you want?

Getting a narcissist to do what you want often involves framing requests in a way that appeals to their self-interest and ego.

Can a narcissist genuinely miss you?

A narcissist may not genuinely miss you as a person, but they can miss the benefits and validation you provided.

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back?

The time it takes for a narcissist to come back varies, but it can be when they feel a lack of attention or validation in their current situation.

What makes a narcissist miss you?

A narcissist may miss you if they feel a loss of control, admiration, or the attention you once provided.

How to trick a narcissist to do what you want?

To trick a narcissist into doing what you want, you can flatter their ego and present your requests as benefiting them or enhancing their image.

Conclusion

Understanding how to make a narcissist come crawling back involves a mix of subtlety, strategy, and self-improvement. By employing the right tactics, you can influence their behavior and regain control in the relationship. Throughout this guide, we have explored a range of strategies, from subtle tactics and psychological techniques to conversational strategies and behavioral changes. Each approach is designed to leverage the narcissist’s natural tendencies and draw them closer to you.

One of the key aspects is using subtle tactics that play on their ego and curiosity. Complimenting them strategically, maintaining an air of mystery, and demonstrating your independence can make you more attractive in their eyes. These tactics make them seek your approval and attention, which are crucial steps in making them come crawling back.

Psychological techniques such as mirroring their behavior, utilizing positive reinforcement, and establishing clear boundaries are also essential. These methods help create a sense of respect and connection, making the narcissist more inclined to value your presence. By understanding their psychology and leveraging it effectively, you can create a dynamic where they are drawn to you naturally.

Engaging conversations are another powerful tool. By asking open-ended questions, sharing intriguing stories, and keeping some details of your life private, you can invoke their curiosity and keep them interested. These strategies ensure that your interactions remain stimulating and engaging, which is vital for keeping a narcissist’s attention.

Behavioral changes play a significant role in making yourself more appealing. Focusing on your physical health, pursuing personal growth, and cultivating emotional independence can significantly enhance your attractiveness. These changes not only improve your well-being but also create an allure that narcissists find hard to resist.

Jealousy can be used to your advantage by highlighting your social interactions, displaying your independence, and maintaining a sense of mystery about your plans. These tactics can make the narcissist realize your value and strive to win back your attention.

Finally, setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial for drawing a narcissist in. Clear, consistent boundaries, prioritizing your own needs, and using positive reinforcement can create a dynamic where they respect and seek your approval. This approach ensures that you maintain your self-respect while making yourself more attractive to the narcissist.

By combining these strategies, you can effectively understand how to make a narcissist come crawling back. Each approach works together to create a powerful dynamic where you are in control, and the narcissist is drawn to your confidence, independence, and allure. This comprehensive guide provides you with the tools and insights needed to navigate a relationship with a narcissist successfully.

Recommended Authors For Further Reading

• Craig Malkin – Malkin is a clinical psychologist and author known for his work on narcissism. His book “Rethinking Narcissism” offers insights into the various forms of narcissism and how to manage relationships with narcissistic individuals.
• Sam Vaknin – Vaknin, a writer and self-proclaimed narcissist, is the author of “Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited.” His extensive writings and videos provide a deep dive into the mind of a narcissist, offering strategies for dealing with narcissistic behavior.
• Wendy T. Behary – Behary is a therapist specializing in treating narcissism. Her book “Disarming the Narcissist” provides practical advice for interacting with narcissists and managing their behavior effectively.
• Elan Golomb – Golomb is a clinical psychologist known for her book “Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self.” Her work helps readers understand the long-term effects of narcissistic relationships and how to heal from them.
• Alexander Lowen – Lowen, a pioneering psychotherapist, wrote “Narcissism: Denial of the True Self.” His work explores the deep psychological roots of narcissism and provides insights into the therapeutic process for those affected by narcissistic relationships.